Matt Zimbel Offers Humour With 'Merch-A-Demic'

By Matt Zimbel

We are in different times so, of course, merch has to change. In my band, Manteca, we stopped producing our very popular “Manteca International Traveller Matching Luggage Set”, discontinued the washer /dryer top load, which was huge in the southern States for some bizarre reason and started producing “Conga Skin Scented Hand Sanitizer”.  Of course, we have had no gigs to test its popularity, but the on-line buzz is good and some of the top hand sanitizer influencers are saying they may add it.  Sanitized fingers crossed!

The horn section is all wearing specially built face masks, which include a zippered opening for the mouthpiece of their instruments. These have been sold online at Manteca-music.com and seem to be particularly popular with smokers.

As you can see, it’s important to create merch items that correspond not only to these pandemic times but also to your band and your brand.

I usually get paid substantial sums for my merch branding consultations, but in the spirit of helping our beleaguered community in this time of need, permit me to throw out a few potential bad boy ideas for the reinvention of merch:

Bryan Adams – The Bryan Adams New Vegan Chinese cookbook

The Sheepdogs – N95 mask + mini respirator w/ organic, free-range, doggy poop bags

Grimes – A return trip … To da moon, Elon.

The New Pornographers – Blow-up doll w/ mask, gloves, hand sanitizer/lube combo.

Drake – Canadian Currency at 50% off face value – buy a 10 spot get a 20…who needs this stuff anymore, house is built, yo!

Moist – Super Quick Dry Moist Hand Sanitizer

Death from Above – Just our regular t-shirt – thanks!

The Joel Plaskett Emergency- EMT ambulance ride w/ Joel & band, mask, gloves incl. siren extra

The Planet Smashers – Yeah, just our regular t-shirt too!