And Our Readers Write... On April Fools' Day

By External Source

Someone with a warped sense of humour wrote asking if there is an opening for an internship at FYI. The request on any other day would seem almost normal, but this one was so over-the-top silly we just had to publish it. And it goes without saying, it's completely bogus.

Hey df,

Hey it's Billy McFarland from Fyre Fest. WHAT'S UP! I'm looking for an internship this summer and heard you're the person at fyimusicnews that I need to speak with about non-paid opportunities for someone with my level of experience in the music game — or paid if you got it, I don't dance no more, I make money moves (haha, I love that song).

I'm really feeling the fyimusicnews brand and think I could learn a lot from you farrell as I prepare for the next chapter in my life. Sure Fyre Fest had some issues, but the media exposure we generated was estimated to be worth $766 million and we were trending on Twitter for weeks! 

If you're not the person I should speak with, then I would appreciate a recommendation or even an introductory email. I have a year of college credits from Bucknell and while I was there I helped my frat raises $3500 during a Turtle racing tournament to spread awareness for Restless Leg Syndrome. After college I created Magnises (which is kind of like a Diners Club card for millennials that got you discounts on medical pot) and then I built the Fyre Media app using the computer skills I learned (I took two quarters of C++ and Photoshop) to hire a Bulgarian to do most of the coding.

Everyone of course knows me for Fyre Fest, which to be honest, is kind of a bummer cause I'm like "Did I peak at 26?" Like what's next for me?

At first I was like, "How do I become the next dfarrell?" and then my buddy Grant said something that made me think. He was like "How do you get farrell to be the next Billy McFarland?" And then I was like "BRO! We're gonna be freaking legends! " 

I'm also a killer negotiator —  recently I've come to an agreement with the U.S. Attorney that there was some minor misrepresentations tied to my event, but only the bad parts. Also, if you do decide to give me this internship, you'll have to sign a waiver acknowledging that I'm not allowed to have a Venmo account or go with 500 feet of Ja Rule. You can sign the letter today and make sure to note the date, April 1, which also happens to be April Fools Day. 

Thanks again df — would love to grab a cheese sandwich if you're free or take you from a ride in the Lambo. I got you! 

Sincerely
William McFarland II
fyrefestbilly@gmail.com