Tom Williams: Being Famous At The Urinal Has Its Drawbacks

By External Source

First published in FYI on April 25, 2018

So here's a story I will dine on for years.

Last night just before the Killer Dwarfs played their last encore, Russ got on the mike and said something to the effect that "The Killer Dwarfs would not exist as we are today without a man who is in the audience tonight. Tom Williams signed us to our first record contract at Attic Records and we want to thank him, so everybody give Tom a big cheer." Which the crowd does. They don't know where I am (in the back row in the dark), but they yell my name and give me a big cheer.

After the show, I am at the urinal having a slash when the guy next to me looks at me and asks me what I thought of the show. He clearly thinks I am way too old and probably hated it. So I told him I loved the show and loved them when I signed him to their first record deal. "You're Tom?" Yes. "Tom Williams?" Yes. "From Attic Records?" Yes.

He then proceeds to shout to everybody: "Hey everybody, this is Tom Williams, the guy who signed the Dwarfs!" I hear from various voices "Hey, you guys had Teenage Head" and "Goddo? and "Triumph" (These boys know their stuff) and "Hey, Attic was the Atlantic Records of Canada" At which point they all crowd in and pat me on the back and try to shake my hand (which is on my member). This gives me major performance anxiety and I make a hasty exit. I'm pretty sure this would never have happened to Clive Davis.